Friday, June 25, 2010

Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

I can't believe its been a week since we moved in. Surprisingly everything is unpacked, sorta, and we have gotten out to enjoy this wonderful city. While the exploration only took around 10 minutes, I still see this as a accomplishment.

One of our first trips out was to Walmart. I was so excited we even have one of these in town. As far as I knew I had to drive 30 minutes to get to one (O.M.G). We needed cleaning supplies, shampoo/conditioner, all of those things I never thought I would be excited to buy. As an "adult" I get really excited about things like new toilet paper and paper towels. Anywho, as we are entering the store I am trying my best not to judge my fellow "Main-ers". Maybe this is just how people dress up north, I think to myself. Nope, my initial assessment was correct. I don't know where these people crawled out from under, but they were there in full force. I wish I could have taken a picture with my phone, but I was scared for my life and trying to keep Patrick calm. As we start our adventure in the organizational section of the store things are OK, we are buying things for the bathroom, stools for the kitchen counter, trying on life jackets(more on that later) without much of a scene. Then we head over toward the food section and the crisis begins. As we approach the yogurt and cheese I think i'm hearing a beeping noise, but surely that will stop soon. We take a right and follow the next isle. Could that be VODKA!? I exclaim. OMG they have liquor at Walmart! and for a few seconds I revel in my new state and their clearly superior laws. Then I am brought back to reality by a constant beeping noise and children screaming... Shouldn't they be in bed anyways? it's kinda late... I look down the isle and there is a large woman, another large woman, a skinny man, and 4 children running in circles screaming covered in old crusty food and juice. I am also pretty sure I got a whiff of urine at some point. One of those children I estimate to be around 6 years old, is sitting in the front of the cart. Isn't that going to tip-over I wonder? He looks a little big for that seat. Quickly we move away from the holy land of vodka and tequilia, and on toward the next isle. Patrick is moving quicker now, saying "Oh my god, are they serious. Get a grip on your children". At least thats the blog friendly version of what he was saying. On the next isle, I spot the machine that is making the beeping noise. It is one of the wheelchair rider things that has been abandoned in the middle of the isle, presumably by one the large women with unruely children. So being the good citizen I am, I attempt to stop the beeping. I'm sure its getting on everyones nerves. Well, after pushing all the buttons, turning it around, trying to turn it off, and picking up sometype of communicable disease the damn thing was still beeping. So we then just try to hurry and get the hell out of there. On to the other isles we go and these people are following us! I cant even pick out the broom that I want in peace. Patrick is freaking out, because the child in the cart is drooling (with one long string of spit down to his belly button) and they are closing in on us. So we throw some stuff in the cart and basically take of running. Well, i'm really just casually walking and Patrick is cursing the cart with the wonky wheel that won't go any faster. We made it to the check out, missing half of the things we came for in the first place. But, we made it out alive with the knowledge that Patrick won't be returning to Walmart for the remainder of our time in Maine. Which is fine with me, I enjoy going for the people watching and in my opinion anywhere that sells Kettle One Vodka can't be that bad...

Things I have learned thus far in Maine:

1. No one wants to hire a new nurse

2. Did you know that Farmers Markets take WIC? well, they do. Which I suppose is a good thing that people who need assistance have the opportunity to eat fresh fruits and vegetables.

3.The Garmin gives inaccurate information reguarding how many more miles you have to paddle down the river before you reach your destination. ( story on that next time)

4. I get irritated very easily while living and sharing communal things like computers and workout facilities.

So, to elaborate on number 4. There is a computer and printer available to the residents of the apartment complex that we live in. I went into the room where it is stored to study on one of my first days here. There was a man, using the computer. Good for him, using what is available. Although it has come to my attention that this man uses the computer for his own personal use, all the time. As if no one else lives here. This gets on my nerves. So while Patrick and I were down there printing off a job application for me to fill out, we figured this would be an opportune time to re-take the computer. We deleted all of the things that the man had saved to the desktop, for his own personal use. The content of these things was mostly pictures of the gulf-coast. I don't feel that bad, because he can always find these things again if he really wants to. But, the satisfaction of hitting delete was well worth it.

That's enough for now, more on life jackets and inaccurate Garmin's next time.

Happy Friday!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

We have arrived

After 3 days, 1,200 miles, 5 books on tape, 2 hotels, the New Jersey Turnpike, $150 of toll fees and one traumatized dog we have arrived at our new apartment in Waterville, ME. I sit here in my new living room surrounded by boxes watching TV. We have our priorities strait, the cable was hooked up the first day we were here by 9am. We didn't have our bed set up yet and I still don't know where most of my underwear is packed but we have 300 channels at our disposal. After realizing that I am an idiot and there is no way I could take my licensing exam next Thursday I woke up early this morning to study and then decided it would just be a better idea to reschedule the exam. So with that already accomplished for the day I figured now was as good a time as any to start by blog. Oh, and I got our Netflix account set up, I'm telling you priorities folks.
Before anyone gets too excited about this thing, I should let y'all know. I cannot spell or edit, and most of the time these posts will be lame. As I have discovered in the last 96 hours, I'm pretty sure nothing too exciting happens here. I enjoy adding commas where they do not belong. I think it keeps things interesting. Also, I really enjoy run on sentences.
I'm thinking I better go start some laundry, down the hall, in our dorm style laundry room before I get going on this thing. Im pretty excited about my next idea for a post, it involves Walmart and Patrick wanting to punch a child.