I’m a pro.

If they had an Olympics for vomiting, I would totally dominate and win a gold medal. This week I actually threw up outside, and here is how it went down. When Abby takes care of business there is a solid 3 feet of snow and i generally just kick some snow to cover up the poo. This is an acceptable practice up here in Maine and everyone else does it too. So don’t judge me. On this particular day an employee that works on one of the floors of the building ( note- not someone that actually lives here) walked passed as abby was doing her business. They gave me the stink eye as I covered the poo. Thus leading me to feel guilty, and get a baggie to pick up the nasty. As i’m doing this, i’m gagging. I had not had a chance to eat breakfast yet. There was no hope. So there I was heaving, leaning over to the side of the sidewalk with Abby sitting there staring at me.

On Friday, hubs and I went to a ski resort around these parts. I being with child got to get a pedicure and a massage while Patrick “carved”/tumbled down the ski slopes. Just kidding, he is actually quite good. Did you know people pack their lunches to go to places like this? I just kinda thought Patrick was saving money by taking his lunch, but no wonder people don’t buy the food there. It was $15 for a small pizza, a power aid, and a brownie. But buying food makes me happy, so that is what i did. And before you go thinking to yourself “nice lunch Jennifer” I realize this is not in the least bit healthy. But I did walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes yesterday so that totally evens out.  So back to my theme of puking, I had to go to the bathroom after eating my fabulous lunch. This place stunk. horribly. as soon as I walked in the power aid started to come back up. But seeing how we had just paid $15 for that food, there was no way in hell it was ending up in a toilet, or on the floor for that matter. Through will power I talked the baby into letting me hold on to my lunch. That and I just sort of ran out of the bathroom…

Other that that, things have been going well. I have only called the doctor twice asking stupid questions. They are always so nice about it, not making me feel like an idiot when I have questions like… “is it OK that I can feel my uterus?” and “ I petted a cat, is that OK”.. well I didn’t get to ask the doctor/nurse the cat question but through some internet stalking I have decided that it is in fact ok. I just couldn’t make myself call the hospital two times in one day.

weight gain- yes,duh. I’m growing an infant.

maternity clothes- that’s a yes! I may never go back to normal clothes. Elastic waist bands should be the standard on all women’s clothing. imagine how much happier we would all be. I say we start a petition, who wants to join in?

cravings- yes. anything that isn't good for me. in particular, egg and cheese biscuits from McDonalds. yum.

sleep- Besides having to pee during the night, yay for that! I sleep pretty well. except when I have dreams that I am late for work, which happens quite often. I would have sworn that my phone rang and someone was telling me I was late for work at the nursing home. I completely made this up. in the middle of the night.

movement- Yep! well, i think anyways. It could very well be gas. But i asked the doctor, and he told me that it was totally possible i was feeling the baby move. He said “ its totally possible, since you are thin,” in which my response was “bless you!” and then I stopped listening. He’s a smart man.

Best moment of the week: while waiting on my gold-encrusted pizza from the ski resort Patrick rubbed my tummy and said “ its starting to poke out”. I love this for 2 reasons. 1- it was really sweet of him. 2- it let other people know, that I am in fact pregnant not just “unfortunately fat” as I have been calling it.

What I am looking forward to- actually feeling movement all the time. I think that would help me feel, that things are ok. Since it would be a constant reminder that the baby is growing and moving around like it should be.

here are a few pictures from our ski-day:

People will in fact stare at you if you are wearing jeans and at a ski resort.

hubs the snowboarder. look at the “slopes” in the background.

Patrick is making me say “look at the sweet cord”… whatever that means.

This is what it would have looked like from the summit of the mountain. If I had gotten to go. But i had to get a pedicure instead. I made the right choice.

It looks like I ate an entire turkey…

We are going to be busy in July. We will be moving, somewhere… that part is still undecided. Maybe Atlanta maybe Bangor, ME. Patrick will be starting a new job- that also is still undecided. We have a wedding to attend. Our 4th anniversary will be coming up in August. Oh, and I will be having a baby! Location and state TBD. We are so very excited to be adding to our little family. Even Abby is super excited- she told me today as she was dragging my pregnant ass through the blizzard so she could eat the snow and then pee on my bath mat. Diana ( the SIL) introduced me to a blog that had a pregnancy weekly update. With my track record of blog postings, i can’t promise that it will be every week but probably more often than every 2 months.

How far along: 14 weeks today.

How big is the baby: according to my iphone app its a lemon

Total weight gain: yeah, right. Even I don’t want to know that information.

Maternity clothes: not really, but i ordered some online the other day. When sitting for long periods of time, i unbutton my pants. Occasionally even when not sitting i unbutton my pants, until I realize the zipper is falling down and then i just feel awkward.

Cravings/Get it out of here: not at this second, although I could go for a cupcake. Perhaps this is why i will not be sharing my weight gain numbers. I was having a hard time in the first part of the pregnancy, everything made me want to vomit. Unless it was fried or bad for me then i wanted it. I went through a Wendy’s double stack phase, as well as a subway veggie sub phase and pizza is always ok.  I was nauseous, all day everyday. I tried to make asparagus and broccoli for Patrick one night and ended up gagging over the sink. Veggies were completely out of the question.

funny things:

every time i brush my teeth i gag.

every time i pick up Abby poop, i gag. I was on the phone with my mom one day while doing this lovely activity. She thought it was hilarious.

Sleep: yes please, no problems yet. except i have to pee all the time.

movement: not yet

What I miss: nothing yet. Perhaps i miss not gagging in public places. Oh.. i almost forgot. Anyone that knows me, knows that i love TLC/A&E and any programming that involves people with problems. TLC’s new show- Strange addictions. I was so excited to watch tonight's episode. The girl that eats laundry detergent. Sadly this episode includes the girl that picks out her hair and eats the hair follicle.( just gagged a little) Obviously I cannot watch this as it is disgusting on so many levels. This would have never bothered me before, but now… i just cant deal.

Best moment this week: I was wearing tights and a fitted top. The neighbor says “ oh hey Homozel” and patted my stomach. then patrick told me I was looking more “rotund”. Which in husband land is a compliment. Apparently I am looking more pregnant, and less like I just swallowed the entire contents of my fridge.

Let me expand on the “Homozel” idea. When Patrick was at college, there was a building that was the “Homozel Mikel something or other” building. He always joked that he wanted to name one of his children that. So clearly, we had to nickname the little one in utero this. Most people stick with “peanut” or something like that… not us.

What I am looking forward to: Shamelessly sticking my stomach out, and rocking my new gap maternity jeans.

Pregnancy rant: I’m good for now. But when I get heated about something, ill let you know.

No pictures yet, none that I’m sharing anyways- but just imagine me.. with a puffy face, a slightly larger ass, and a stomach that sticks out over my pants. I’m a lovely sight, but its all for a good purpose!

New years resolutions

One of my new years resolutions was to blog more. Unfortunately, I have epically failed at this in the first 11 days of 2011. My bad.

So I will start by re-capping the last month of our lives, or what I can remember anyways.

How could i forget, my BFF Melissa came to visit. This was in the beginning of November, so not technically within the last month but still a very important event. We had a true Main-ah weekend, and went to a field in the middle of no where and made Melissa shoot a gun for the first time. It was so redneck, and i’m pretty sure she thought she was going to die the whole time.

We started December with a quick jaunt to NYC. I have always wanted to go at Christmas time and my sweet husband  made it happen, mostly because I made him take me. Unfortunately for me, the rest of America also likes to go to NYC at Christmas. We had a fabulous trip, even though we had a cab issue ( we were too far away from where we are trying to go, seriously?) which resulted in me walking 2 miles crying the whole way. But, you can’t let that ruin a trip can you?

View Full Album

After NYC we headed to ATL for our family Christmas, and a friends wedding. In true Jennifer and Patrick style, we drove overnight to get there and to return to Maine. We were there for 5 days, but it seemed more like 20 minutes. We saw lots of friends and were very busy. This included trips to Chick-fil-a, Moes, and publix  for subs. Lord, I miss those places. Then we drove back, overnight, again. I drove a total of about 4 hours the entire time, sorry Patrick.

We had a “White Christmas” here in Maine, with just the 3 of us. Abby included. It was “white”, because it had snowed sometime in November, and the snow never melts. It just piles up, and turns brown and nasty and gets all over your pants.

Thats me in the brown jacket, the day after Christmas on a hike with the neighbors and our dogs.

I was lucky enough to get a new job this December as well, so the month has included me working, a lot.

For New Years my brother in law, and my soon to be sister in law come up for a visit. We headed to Bar Harbor, which is totally different in the winter. We explored parts of Acadia Natl park, and went to one of the only 3 restaurants open in the town for dinner/new years. We had a fabulous time!

I am sure I am missing some things, but ill have another post in a few minutes after i frantically clean the house and cook dinner. Which is what I was supposed to be doing today, but instead i chose to sit on the couch and watch hours of TV.

Thanksgiving in Vermont.

We had a fabulous turkey day this year, we actually got to celebrate twice which is always a plus. I mean really, the more food the better.

On actual Thanksgiving, I was slaving away at the nursing home so I came home to eat at the neighbors apartment. It was very nice to come home, change, and eat. Without having to do one bit of work. My favorite kind of holiday.

The next morning we headed out to Vermont to celebrate the holiday weekend with my brother,  sister-in-law, and friends Matthew and Liz. They have a fabulous house and a crazy golden-doodle named Silas. We mostly ate and drank and had a lazy weekend watching football on the couch. We had such a great time, and it was topped off by a huge thanksgiving feast and a little bit of snow.

Also, can I talk about how jealous I am of the Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical center. It looks like a convention center, that happens to take care of sick people. I mean, its got nothing on The Maine General, Waterville campus….but still pretty fabulous. They even have a bank inside. and a travel agency. you know, just in case you need to plan a trip before you have your gallbladder taken out.

wtf were we thinking?

My loving husband had got it in his head that we were going to hike Mt. Katadhin (Fyi, I will probably spell this differently every time I type it. in fact, i shall call it Mt. K). This is the highest point in Maine, the elevation is 13 feet short of a mile. Which honestly once we got to the top just kinda pissed me off. they should have built something 13 feet high at the top, that we could have climbed so say we climbed a mile. but whatever. Patrick had made reservations at a “hotel” in milonocket ( again, probably spelled wrong). The whole drive he was telling me, its just one night. We wont be there for very long. He was preparing me for this…  A motor lodge. eww. Staying there was as horrible as you could imagine. The person above us weighed 400lbs, sounded like they were going to break the floor and crush us to death. And, they also didn’t sleep because the stomped around all freaking night. This fine experience was topped of by people yelling in the hallway at all hours of the night. If you look closely you can see why people were so loud, there were 25 cent natty lights at the attached bar. I think people came from all over, booked themselves a room and then proceeded to get hammered.

With a 4:45 wake up call, we were going on little sleep. but, we headed out with headlamps and flash lights. You have to get to the national park early, or else they give away your parking spot. Which you have to book weeks in advance. Also, we didn’t know how long this adventure would take so we figured we should start early. We hiked 5 miles up. I thought I was going to die. After scaling up the side of a mountain, we reach the top which I mistakenly thought was the end. But little did I know we still had another mile to go to the peak. The reason I didn’t know was because we couldn’t see the peak, why you ask? That’s because it was snowing, 50mph wind gusts, and we were in a freaking cloud.

With some encouragement, and some cuss words on my behalf we made it to the top. It was absolutely freezing. And we couldn’t see anything, just the sign that said we had made it to the top. It took quite an effort to get our picture taken, because there was a man proposing, and a Korean film crew trying to video tape the whole thing. All the while screaming, about making a nice DVD. This was all very sweet, but they needed to get the hell out of the way. I wasn’t going to stand there forever, I wanted to take my picture and get on my way. I was pretty sure hyp0thermia was setting in and I really wanted to keep all of my fingers.

So after taking a picture, we headed on our way out of the clouds. I promptly fell on my butt, cried a little, and then started our descent off the mountain. You would think going down would be easier, but it really wasn’t. The whole path is rocks, so you have to be careful. the WHOLE 10 miles. so toward the end, i of course end up tripping and falling because my feet and legs just no longer work. I cannot physically lift my feet off the ground. But, we survived and I can say that 2 weeks later I am glad we did it. although, there is absolutely no way I am doing it again.

5:30, starting out our adventure.

sunrise and freezing.

my cute little hiker.

rock climbing. for 5 miles. omg.

strait up hill.

me, being super happy.

very safe.

thank the lord, we made it.

I saw this once we had already been to the top.

we survived! exhausted, but alive.

How bout them apples

Ill start off by saying, that my computer is officially crap. I have an issue with technology and Patrick decided it might be a good idea to retire my computer for the time being before I throw it out the window.

So anyways, steve-o and Kpo came to visit a few weeks ago. We met up with them in Freeport in the pouring rain.The whole outdoor outlet mall is a lot more charming when it is not raining. After drying out we cooked some Lobsters for dinner, which we are becoming professional lobster murderers. Once again we bought them from a shack on the side of the road. This is a totally acceptable practice up here, but if someone was selling seafood on the side of the road in Marietta I would assume that it has some type of poison.

On Saturday we went to pick some apples at a pick your own farm around here. It was such a nice day out, and I felt very new englandy picking my own apples.

here is a picture of the apple trees. Does anyone else think its weird that apples grow on trees?

  I was a professional apple picker.

After picking more apples than we knew what to do with, we headed to a pub in downtown Skowhegan and sat outside overlooking the river for some lunch. It was a cute little place. It came complete with entertainment in the form of what I am assuming was a homeless man and his homeless friend. It was sad, I suppose. This crazy- kept talking about how he DOVE, not jumped, off of the bridge over the river. Ok, if he had really done that, I'm pretty sure he would not have been standing there, alive, telling us that story. Thank the lord he decided to bother another table of people because I really just wanted to enjoy my chicken cesar wrap.

In true Porter fashion we had some Mexican for dinner, completing our trend of eating our way through the weekend. It was such a short trip but it was so good to see my parents!

Abby goes to Boston

So Patrick had a continuing education course on Implant dentistry in Boston this week. This trip was funded by the government, thank you Togus VA hospital. We even drove a government Impala, which kinda sounded like the wheels were going to fly off, but its not our car so I dealt. Also, it is a government vehicle, so what did I expect.

The Sheraton in downtown is a pet friendly hotel, so of course we brought Abby. Although, I'm pretty sure pet friendly means having a yorkie in your purse. Not an 80 golden retriever. But they didn't specify. Their fault, not ours. Hauling the dog brought its own challenges but I had a good time hanging out with the pup. She rode the elevator, the subway, met some homeless people (which according to Jinks on MTV, they actually prefer to be called “houseless”) got snuck into an apartment, and ate dinner and lunch outside tied up to a fence or a tree, depending on what was available. She was even there with me when I got talked into “adopting” a child from a 3rd world country, I mean for only $22 a month they can get health care and go to a private school! Patrick did not understand this argument, and I didn’t do quite as good of a job selling the idea as the guy on the street. Basically, I had to un-adopt a poor child. Not a super fun phone call to make.

Anyways, we had a really good time. Visiting with Dan and Lindsey and just hanging out in the city, with a dog in tow.

Here are a few pictures from our adventure!

Abby rode the T, like a champ. People either loved her or were wondering what the hell she was going on the subway.

Lindsey and I had lunch outside, sammies with Boarshead meat. Lord, I miss good sandwich meat. Abby sat on a cement bench next to me, staring at my food while the street performer played in the background and a woman sat on the side of the street breastfeeding. We certainly don't have that type of thing going on here in Waterville, me.

Doesn’t she look tired? I guess walking around a city, smelling all sorts of crap, and getting petted by strangers can really take it out of a dog.